Lay Down Your Wings
by DaisyTheDoodleDog
Summary: Castiel can't wait to come home from war and see his family, and when he finally does, he couldn't be happier... except not everything is what it seems. As they say, nothing's fair in love and war. Destiel AU! MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Hehehe, review please!


**Hello! welcome to another angsty one-shot! review please and enjoy!**

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Cas knew he was going to cry. He was a tough one, never one to make a noise of complaint, or let his emotions sleep through his stoic expression. He told himself over and over and over that he wouldn't lose it. Not in front of all those people in the busy airport, where nobody needed to know his story. Nobody needed to know that Cas was about to break down when he saw his baby girl all grown up in her Star Wars shirt and second grade attitude, and his beautiful little boy who now had a mouth full of words and a spring in his step. And nobody needed to stick their noses in their business when Cas kissed his husband, holding him close, too desperate to let go; three years has been a long time after all.

Cas had missed a lot of things. He had missed Lucy's first day of Kindergarten. He had missed Michael's first steps that would lead into the great chase around the supermarket and mall. Cas had missed his tenth anniversary with Dean, and he had missed all the birthdays, holidays, and reunions that Dean had to do without him.

And it sucked.

He was so afraid that he wouldn't come back.

When Cas was sent to the unfathomable world, he couldn't picture what his life might look like after. He couldn't see what it would become, but he couldn't stop it. He had to feed his children, help Dean out while the car shop business was slow. Cas was always a born soldier though, so he guessed he didn't mind all that much going back. The problem was his family, and that was a damn big problem.

Cas stepped out of the gateway and into the busy Kansas airport loudspeakers blaring information, that Cas wouldn't need and people pushing and shoving, not the slightest care in the world for the others around them. The airport hadn't changed at all in his time gone. What if they didn't show? Cas knew that would never be the case, but the idea still scared him. He trudged through the airport ignoring people's glances at the worn out man in the uniform, head held high but the expression of a soldier. Hard and empty, despite the excitement dancing in his eyes.

"Daddy!" A little girl screamed, she must have been six or seven as she burst down the from the steps that led to the baggage claim. She had bouncy golden hair, but it wasn't Cas's little girl. No, Lucy looked just like him, with raven hair, pale complexion, and big blue eyes. She was the spinning image of him. This little girl instead came bouncing to the baggage claim and jumped into her father's arms. He was dressed in a business suit, just an average out of town job. But still Cas kept walking. He found his duffel, heaved it off the belt and pulled it to the front entrance and into the Midwestern heat. But there. With a sign decorated with glitter pens -undoubtedly from a goofy little girl- random paint strokes from a toddler, and big bubble letters that said "Welcome Home." Cas didn't lose it there, he thought he would, but he didn't.

But there they were. Not so itty-bitty Michael in his daddy's arms, tired from missing a nap, but content with the lollipop in his mouth. His emerald green eyes so telling of his genetic relation to Dean. They did it that way. So they each got their own little child of their DNA to build their perfect little family. Then Lucy, her raven hair pulled back into braids and her princess Lelia t-shirt. She had Captain Marvel bandaids up her knees, that hid her scrapes from daredevils of her own inventions. She smiled but didn't rush up to greet him like the other little girl he had passed earlier. She stood there wide-eyed staring at her dad, a missing memory from her life. Cas dropped his bags and stared at them in complete disbelief.

"Hi Daddy." She whispered. Cas kneeled down and opened up his arms, where she bounded in, screaming with joy and wrapped her hands around his neck as he swung her off the ground. She giggled and kissed him on the cheek, talking a mile a minute about every single day of her life since he left. Another little body slammed into him, this time a lot less excited about their dad being home, and instead curiosity of the man who he knew was dad, but was nearly a stranger. Michael reached out too with his chubby fingers looking fondly at the familiar stranger.

"Hey little demon." Cas chuckled, kissing her head over and over, but placed her down to greet his son and husband. "And you little angel." Cas cried softly, grasping the toddlers head in his huge hands and kissing his nose softly. Michael giggled, grabbing Cas's ears.

"Cas."

That's when Cas really lost it. Hearing his name coming from the love of his life, the man he hadn't seen in years, but kept their family together while he was away. Tears were pouring down his face, but Dean was as emotionless as he could attempt to be, the tears welling up in his eyes evident when he looked close enough.

"Hey Dean." Cas frantically put down the toddler to wander the airport floor allowed himself to be pulled away in Dean's arms. Dean held his soldier after a long time coming. Cas had never felt a more comforting feeling than half laughing and half crying into Dean's strong shoulder, his scent of leather and apple pie radiating off him, and his beautiful echoing laugh that never failed to make him smile. "God I missed you." Dean kissed him, and it was still like their first kiss, wild and exciting, but never absent of sincerity. Cas mumbled, only breaking away to pick up his son and daughter in both hands to grip them tight and never let go.

The moment was so perfectly tranquil that the mind couldn't have made it up, even at the most desperate of times. Cas took in everything he could, with everything he had, because moments like these could be taken away all too soon. Life and love, two things he couldn't afford to lose.

Cas closed his eyes.

...

Dean held Lucy's hand as they walked through the garden. It was such a beautiful spring day, the way the sun beamed down at them ensconcing them in its comforting rays. Sam was there too of course, carrying Michael who dozed on his shoulder, too little to understand what was happening.

Everything really was beautiful, almost too beautiful for the mind to comprehend the circumstances that brought them to the gardens with the cool breeze rustling the roses and daisies and the bees humming softly to the quiet tune of nothing that enveloped them in such warmth and such emptiness at the same time. Dean tightened his grip on his daughter's hand, he wasn't about to let go to her with those gorgeous blue eyes. So many people were gathered at the garden. Friends, family, comrades. All mourning what was taken all too soon.

Dean leaned over the edge of the wood, to see those pretty pink lips and soft dark hair, but couldn't find the blazing blue that once gazed at him with a love most couldn't understand.

"Daddy?" Lucy whispered tugging on his pants.

"Yes my little demon?"

"Did why did dad give me that name?" It was such an innocent question that pierced the veil of grief and darkness that swirled in the minds of those who were brought to their knees from the fallen. Such a sweet question that blew away the pain of reality and gave peace of mind to the fragments of the past, clinging to the now, never to be forgotten.

"Cuz you're trouble." Lucy giggled as Dean picked her up and held her close.

"We can see dad tonight, if you let Michael and me stay up." Dean gave her a puzzled look, as what to child meant, filled him with sadness that fueled the raging fire inside him. The fire wasn't out of anger, just pain. It would die down in the coming years, but for now it reigned victorious against all other judgement.

"What do you mean, Lucy?"

"The stars. Uncle Sammy has a telescope. We can see him tonight in the stars. Auntie Rowena told me that. That Daddy's playing in the stars, watching us grow. Can we see him tonight?" Dean paused. He wanted to cry into her shoulder, but father's didn't do that for their little girls. He had to keep himself composed, at least until he saw the stars. Then maybe he could let the golden tears fall.

"Sure. It's a date." She sighed softly into his shoulder and tucker her head beneath his chin. Of course she was sad, but she had to be strong for her father. She had to be strong for him, because every time she cried about dad being gone so long he always said the same thing: when he comes home, hell give you the biggest hug in the world. So all she could do now was hug her dad, and hope that he'd feel safe.

Michael at some point also found his way to his dad's arms, falling asleep curled into his chest while being carried around the garden until the sun hung low in the field, bidding goodbye to a silent world that would lead into the moon's protective gaze and gentle sickle smile. When the stars came out, Lucy found herself the porch in her Dad's famous trench coat with her Uncle Sam peering through the telescope for a shooting star. The night wasn't broken, no it was more beautiful than ever, the constellations putting on display of glittering diamonds in celebration of an angel.

Dean had found himself staring at the box of things Cas had left behind. Dean felt like he belonged in the box. He sighed and let a tear slide down his cheek and he glanced through the knick-knacks and came across the army jacket with his name printed on it. _Castiel Winchester. _Dean found their wedding ring, a few odds and ends, but his eyes were drawn to the paper folded in Cas's jacket pocket. Tucked away into the pocket of his coat, was a picture of Dean and the kids. Dean wore his leather jacket and jeans while holding newly three year old Michael in his arms with the deep green eyes and a lollipop in his mouth. Lucy who sat on his shoulders with her princess Lelia shirt and her dark hair pulled back into braids, bandaids that littered her skin. The picture had been taken a few months before...

Dean wondered what Cas thought about in his dying moments. He couldn't fathom it. The pain, despair, that anguish in his final breaths. But somehow, somewhere, Dean knew Cas's final breath wasn't in vain. He knew what Cas had been thinking and what came after. Cas had been the most amazing person, a once in a lifetime person that just brightened the whole room. But shadows wouldn't rule the night now that he was gone, no they'd still cower in fear because the stars were watching. The light had yet to fade, and never would. Even after, he still was the protector, the well worked soldier, who was lost in the uncertainty and unfairness of love and war.

An angel had fallen. May his wings be laid down to finally rest.

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**Thanks for reading! Until next time,**

**-Daisy**


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